Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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