Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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