"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So many bounce houses so little time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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