My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am available for nakedness
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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