i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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