I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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