if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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