she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize