If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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