yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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