we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize