You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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