Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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