There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize