Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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