absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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