I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize