You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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