he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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