Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!

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  (630): dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg! http://tfl.nu/jn1p
  Replies (19) Good night (747) Bad night (3305) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

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  (303): Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks http://tfl.nu/eae4
  Replies (34) Good night (966) Bad night (3015) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot

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  (253): when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot http://tfl.nu/f16k
  Replies (10) Good night (597) Bad night (3374) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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  (330): This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM? http://tfl.nu/jjdh
  Replies (23) Good night (4817) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

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  (252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq
  Replies (16) Good night (7175) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.

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  (902): the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved. http://tfl.nu/ruqq
  Replies (7) Good night (3482) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2803) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends

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  (707): The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends http://tfl.nu/16wy
  Replies (11) Good night (3159) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.

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  (727): Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules. http://tfl.nu/9nm8
  Replies (4) Good night (992) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts. 

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  (203): Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.  http://tfl.nu/0ezy
  Replies (6) Good night (1358) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.

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  (770): When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers. http://tfl.nu/iawl
  Replies (7) Good night (1054) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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  (801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs
  Replies (24) Good night (641) Bad night (1528) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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  (435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj
  Replies (12) Good night (1840) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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  (410): I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now. http://tfl.nu/a4rz
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye

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  (307): I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye http://tfl.nu/lqr2
  Replies (1) Good night (910) Bad night (177)

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