No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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