I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize