keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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