we're blogging at a bar
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize