You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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