I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
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He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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