i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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