He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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