I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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