my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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