i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize