hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you would pick up someone in the library
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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