I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize