Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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