I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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