you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize