The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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