after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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