i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize