I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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