Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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