how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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