Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She told me I should be a condom model.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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