I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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