i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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