Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize