if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize