It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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