so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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