Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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